Postindustrial Founder Carmen Gentile knows a thing or two about getting hurt and the cost of American healthcare. That’s why he prefers his injuries occur overseas.
The other day, my daughter asked me how many bones I had broken.
It took me a while to tally the break count of various injuries over the decades, from fingers bashed in skateboarding mishaps to getting shot in the face in Afghanistan and other assorted injuries too embarrassing to list here.
The total came to 20.
Now, make that 21, after a car in the Croatian capital, Zagreb, clipped me last weekend in a hit-and-run while I was cycling, crushing my left hand and breaking a bone I’d previously fractured years earlier.
[I’m fine, by the way. It’s just a hairline crack requiring a cast for four weeks. For me, that’s like a paper cut.]
The emergency room in Zagreb wasn’t especially busy when I arrived, so my wait wasn’t long. A doctor examined my swollen hand, then sent me down the hall for an x-ray, followed by a simple plaster cast, which I’ll wear for four weeks. The whole thing took about 90 minutes.
As I’m not a Croatian citizen and thus not covered by their national healthcare system, I had to pay out of pocket.
Total cost: 57.28 Euros, or about $60
This might come as a shock to many of you. But for me, it’s what I’ve come to expect, having sustained numerous injuries on five continents and received excellent care each time at a fraction of the cost I would have paid in America.
Food poisoning in Cairo?
$35 for an exam and some meds
An MRI for a separated shoulder in Brazil when a wave I was surfing dumped me upside down in waist-deep water?
About $50
A facial laceration from a surfboard tip requiring stitches from an accomplished plastic surgeon, so my mug stayed pretty?
Around $200 at the fancy, private hospital in Rio de Janeiro
Kitchen knife laceration here in Croatia requiring seven stitches on my right index finger?
$7 – one buck per stitch
I could go on and on, but after a while, you’ll start asking, “what’s wrong with this guy?” rather than getting the point I’m trying to make.
America’s overpriced, privatized/monetized, ass-backward, unholy excuse for healthcare is, as Postindustrial Healthcare Columnist Mike Stancil puts it so well, “bullshit.”
Knowing how much he’d appreciate my experience with Croatian care, Mike was the first person I contacted after leaving the hospital.
His reaction was textbook him and right on the mark.
“It’s eye-opening when you experience healthcare focused on getting you well – as opposed to charging you for as many approved billable services that they can get away with. It’s immediately apparent when getting care in places with national health services. Where’s the litany of tests? Where’s the referral to a specialist? Where’s the opioid script? Oh, you’re just going to address the problem and send me on my way. And somehow, we in the states see this as radical.”
So true. No one tried to load me down with pain meds I didn’t need or keep me there for six hours so they could gouge me for as much dough as possible.
Had I sustained this same injury stateside, even with my insurance, I’d be out thousands of dollars and likely squabbling with my Spawn-of-Satan insurer, who’d probably argue that since I broke a bone I’d previously fractured, my injury was a “pre-existing” condition and thus not covered.
Hell, had I hurt myself in America, it would have been cheaper to get on a plane with a busted hand and have the thing cast here.
America’s for-profit healthcare system is an egregious, fucking con that should be drowned in dirty bathwater.
Even though I’m enraged just thinking about America’s bullshit healthcare, I have to laugh because this experience reminded me of the scene in The Hangover II when Phil gets shot in the arm by monkey-owning Bangkok drug dealers (don’t pretend you didn’t see it or remember the scene) and goes to a local clinic for care.
“Eight stitches. It only cost six dollars. How’s that even possible?”
You know how it’s possible, Phil? Because, like most of the world, Thailand treats healthcare as a “right” for citizens and visitors alike, not how healthcare companies can fill their coffers with billions of dollars a year by overcharging some patients and outright denying care to others because it doesn’t suit their bottom line.
Now, you wanna feel ever worse about American healthcare?
Since I was injured in a hit-and-run and don’t have the offending driver’s insurance, I filed a claim with the city, which will not only reimburse me for hospital costs but also compensate me for my pain and suffering.
That’s right. I’m going to make money from being injured over here.
In true, crude Hangover fashion, let me leave you with this parting opinion:
American healthcare providers can eat a massive bag of dicks!
